Insecurity
Insecurity is an emotional feeling of “not being good enough”. Usually, a person who is insecure has low self-esteem. Thus, he may have difficulty in many aspects of life. A person who feels secure is more likely to succeed than an insecure one. In many cases, the root cause of feeling insecure started from childhood. It may start from home where a situation brought him trauma and guilt. A child who is insecure is probably living in a home with unstable relationships or unloving parents. Rejection and loss of significant one are also factors that can cause insecurity.
Other Factors that can Cause Insecurity
1. Body image. A person who is not happy with his body figure and facial attributes tends to feel more insecure than a person who is more fit and sexy. He feels that he is ugly and he believes that he brings negative perception about himself to others. This makes him self-conscious and tense in dealing with others.
2. Impossible expectations to meet. He feels the need to present perfection. He usually has this perfect life in his mind that he strives to meet. When not met, he will feel guilty to the point that he will question his capacity.
3. Low self-esteem. He under-estimates himself. When he is around people who have the capacity to do better than him, he cannot restrain from comparing himself to them. Eventually, he will realize that he lacks skills and talents. This can make him doubt his capacity to achieve success.
4. Loss. Insecurity can be felt by a person who experienced losing something that gives him security. Bankruptcy, faded beauty, loss of a loved one and loss of innocence are some issues that may cause insecurity.
5. Fear. Lack of self-confidence can also cause insecurity. It can be anything like fear of rejection, fear of losing or fear of shame.
6. Low financial status. A person who feels insecure is most likely to buy things that will show off his status in life. We know persons who do not earn much but have large TV at home, wear branded clothes and drive cars. There are times that he will go to parties with his friends who are moneyed than him just for him to feel that he belongs to the group.
7. Personal incapacity. Learning disability, physical deformation and abnormality even through our perception can cause insecurity.
How to Overcome Insecurity?
1. Get a piece of paper. Think about your good and bad characteristics. Write them down on a piece of paper and realize how you will turn your bads into goods and how you will improve your goods to become your strength. That paper can serve as your personal note that you can look at from time to time to check if you have improved. Just keep it. One day it will make you smile.
You can also write down all your insecurities about your body and say ‘so what?!’. Remember that no one is ugly because we are made different. Each one of us is unique.
You can also think about the persons who made you feel down or rejected because of who you are. Write their names on the paper and perceive if they have the right to make you feel that way. The answer must always be ‘NO’ because no one can make you feel bad, bitter or incapacitated unless you allow them.
After writing down, revive your self-confidence. Believe that YOU CAN DO IT!
2. Find the root cause of it. To conquer insecurity, you must find the root cause of it. It may be jealousy, emotional trauma, childhood experiences, and failures in school or anything that can make someone feel inferior and insecure. You need to face and solve it. Once you are aware of the problem, issues will become easier to sort out.
3. Stop comparing. Comparing yourself to others can give you the feeling of self-rejection. This can hurt your own self-esteem and give you the feeling of being inferior. Everyone has their own struggles. Try to be with the person who is perfect for you and you will see that he has his own hidden struggles.
“Everyone in my class can do this except me.”
“How come they are making enough money than me?”
Don’t exaggerate other person’s success and put it as a basis. It does not contribute anything to stop feeling insecure. Instead, it only makes you feel hurt. Realize that it is now the time to face the truth and accept yourself for who you are. Just because we are behind others in terms of skills, success or physical appearance does not mean that we must blame ourselves for being that way. It just means that we have to take some things as a challenge and be a better person for our own future. Struggles and hardships happen to each one of us in order to grow up and become a stronger person.
4. Stop wearing masks. Our mind is full of defensive mechanisms that we can use as a cover-up to our real selves. Show the real you! Don’t pretend that you are as cool as others if you are not. You may think that this is quite impossible but don’t you think? It feels good when people know you for who you are and still they accept and respect you.
5. Be optimistic. See the good about yourself. Do good things that can contribute for the betterness of your future. Check for the good sides of every situation and live your life like there is no tomorrow. Stop feeling bitter and live for the better.
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